At one point, you may have experienced losing connections you thought would last forever. Perhaps you have severed ties with close family members or friends. Losing relationships may be inevitable in life, but broken links are still mendable. With the right attitude and timing, a bond, no matter how shattered, can begin anew.
Kinds Of Broken Relationships
Since there is no single kind of relationship, then there is no one kind of broken relationships. People experience drifting apart, amicable separation, small misunderstandings, or broken trust. Each situation requires tailor-fit approaches to restore that spark.
The Role Of Self-Reflection
We first need to start with ourselves. The separation may have ended well or poorly. Either way, we must acknowledge that we can look at it in a new light now. Reflect on why you lost the relationship. Was it due to natural fading, tiny misunderstandings, or broken trust?
“Talk to each other honestly about your feelings about the state of your relationship,” Margarita Tartakovsky, MS., suggests.
Pinpoint your role in the separation or breakup. Was there anything you did that contributed to your splitting up? Doing this will help you identify what traits of yourself you want to improve. It also shows you the mistakes you should learn from in the future.
Saying Sorry With Feelings
As a kid, we have been taught god manners when interacting with others. We learn from our parents how to say “please” and “thank you.” Now, why is it so hard to say “I am sorry”?
After reflection, forgiving or asking for forgiveness is practically the hardest part, but it can go a long way. This step involves setting your pride aside and handling the case with a mature outlook. A sincere apology not only helps you but can also help the other party involved.
“Forgiveness is not a mental exercise,” says Drew W. Edwards, Ed.D., MS. “Rather it is a determined change of heart by those who have been hurt.”
The best thing about forgiveness is the peace that it brings. Surrendering your pride and taking the high road is a fulfilling and uplifting feeling.
Restoring The Spark
In this digital world, communication comes easy to users. Nudge them with a gentle text, email, or message. If you are braver, give them a call. Invite them to a simple lunch or get together. You can mend broken ties by communicating your intentions. Transparently and sincerely say you want to fix the relationship. Now that you have done your part, it is up to them to take you up on that offer.
You can talk about small things at first. Clearing the air between you two with a light chat followed by a brief explanation and apology gets the ball rolling. Once you’ve cleared the air, you can discuss what will happen next.
Some people are harder to coax. Naturally, it takes time to move on from feeling betrayed. Give people time to heal and process the situation as well. However, when they do open their doors, even hesitantly, take that opportunity to prove your sincerity.
“Nurture your fondness and admiration,” says John Gottman, Ph.D.
Practice communication regularly. Catch up on life events you might have missed like promotions, travels, and family events. Regular dates like weekly dinners or monthly drinks can also help re-establish that connection.
It is hard to lose people you genuinely care for, and it is harder to get them back. Value your relationships with them. Relationships and friendships fade away, but the strongest of those will always be mended with a little time, a load of forgiveness, and sincere communication.